The galaxy's most confident explorer โ and statistically its worst. Now he's got merch. Wear the chaos.
First drop landing soon. Join the list to get it before the aliens do.
"Certified 0% success rate" โ soft cotton, cosmic print.
Heavyweight hoodie with the ZORP crew badge on the chest.
Three A3 prints of Zorp's greatest disasters.
12 die-cut stickers. Slap Zorp on everything you own.
11oz mug featuring Gleep, the navigator who steers by vibes.
10 phone + desktop wallpapers. Pay what you want.
Points at things. Yells "Onward!" Has never read a map. Believes gravity is a suggestion.
Calculated the odds of survival. Chose not to share them. Sighs in 47 languages.
A frog Zorp found on Planet Wet. Steers by vibes. The best decision-maker aboard.
I have never been lost. The galaxy simply keeps moving where I'm not.โ Commander Zorp, orbiting the wrong planet
Get the first merch drop, wallpapers, and new disasters straight to your inbox. No spam, only chaos.